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Oh, and get dis – I’m escortin’ dis lady once, she’s laughin’ at me hands goin’ wild. I’m thinkin’, “Am I WALL-E or a bloody clown?” Cracked me up, mate! Love dat lil robot, tho – “Eee-va!” – I yell dat in me head when I’m hyped. Escort’s got heart, ya see? Ain’t just a job, it’s a mission. I exagerate, sure, but it feels epic!

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Finally, I make it to the top. The view is insane! You can see all the way to Slovenia. I’m standing there, feeling like a king, when suddenly, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Marco. He’s like, “Dude, come to the bar later!” I’m like, “Sure, but I gotta wrangle these pigs first.” He’s all, “Bring ‘em!” I’m like, “Yeah, right. Pigs don’t do bars.” But I laugh it off.

New train route that connects three European countries that cost less than £7