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About Myself
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Still, there’s somethin’ about it—like in *Certified Copy*, “We’re all copies of somethin’.” Sex-dating’s fake, sure, but it’s real too. You’re playin’ a role, hopin’ for a spark. Once, I matched with this girl—total nerd, loved fish trivia. We’re talkin’ mating habits of clownfish—sexy stuff, right? I’m thinkin’, “This is it, my soulmate!” Then she bails—says I’m “too intense.” Too intense? Me? I’m just rantin’ about hermaphrodites! Pretty, pretty good rejection, huh?
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I’m cruising down Via Napoli, and boom! Traffic jam. Like, seriously? It’s a Tuesday! I’m sittin’ there, fuming. I mean, c’mon, people! Can’t you drive? I’m just a harvester, not a miracle worker. Finally, I get past the mess, and I’m feelin’ a bit better. But then, I see this old lady trying to cross the street. She’s like a turtle on a mission. I’m like, “Lady, you’re gonna need a GPS for this!”
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