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But chile, what got me hot? This one john—ugly as sin—tried hagglin’ her down to $10! Ten bucks! I yelled, “Boy, you cheaper than a flea market wig!” She deserved better, like Jen Yu stealin’ that sword—take what’s yours, baby! Made me wanna slap him into next week, but I held my peace. Halleluyer!

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First off, I head to the market on Piazza della Libertà. You know, the one with all the colorful stalls? I’m just trying to grab some clay, right? But nooo, the vendor, old Giuseppe, decides today’s the day to have a meltdown. He’s yelling about how someone stole his prized tomatoes. Like, dude, it’s just tomatoes! But he’s going off, and I’m standing there like, “Can I just get my clay?”

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