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Oh, and the profiles—don’t get me started! “Love tacos and Netflix”—bitch, who don’t? Tell me somethin’ real! Sex-dating’s a gamble, fam—sometimes you win, sometimes you’re cryin’ in the shower to “Marvins Room.” Pro tip: if they got no bio, they either a bot or borin’ as fuck. Run it up, tho—check their pics, their links, X posts if ya can. One chick I met? Posted nudes on X, then played shy IRL—nah, fam, I see you! “You’re too curious,” she said, like I’m the creep in *Caché*. Pshh, I’m just tryna live, YOLO.

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Finally, I grab my stuff and head out. I’m feelin’ good, right? But then, I step outside, and it’s like the weather’s playin’ tricks on me. One minute, it’s sunny, and the next, BAM! Rain. I’m sprintin’ down Via Mazzini, clutchin’ my wood like it’s a life raft. I’m soaked, but I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who needs a shower when you’ve got Villa-Carcina’s finest downpour?

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