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Oh, and get this – little secret, dude. Some escorts in Russia, they’d smuggle vodka on the sly! Ha! Picture that – sirens wailin’, and they’re chuggin’ behind the wheel. Cracks me up! I’m like, “Don’t let it end,” like Mason’s mom cryin’ in the movie. Too good!

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I hit the Via di Villa Adriana, and wow, the sun was shining like it was trying to blind me. I mean, come on! I’m not a vampire! Anyway, I got to the entrance, and there were tourists everywhere. Like, can’t a person just enjoy some ancient architecture without a million selfies happening?

Fig. 4: Lastra sepolcrale di Nicostratus, con raffigurazione di una...