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So, I’m searchin’, right? Web’s fulla weird X posts ‘bout it—guys braggin’, others warnin’. One dude said he found a gal who sang sea shanties while—well, y’know. Surprised me so much I spat me pineapple juice! Oh, and *The Turin Horse* pops in me head again: “They’re lost, abandoned.” Kinda sad, huh? Makes me wonder—do they choose this? Gets me all weepy like a soggy sponge.

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Then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and lands on our table. I’m like, “Is this a sign? Should I invest in birdseed?” My client cracks a smile, and I think, “Yes! Humor saves the day!” But then the pigeon poops on his laptop. I’m dying inside. Like, really? This is how my day is going?