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Love the guts escorts got, tho. Takes balls—or whatever—to stroll into that game. Reminds me of Chihiro facin’ Yubaba, all tiny but fierce. Did ya know, right, some escorts in old Rome were called “lupae”? Means she-wolves—how badass is that? Struttin’ round, howlin’ at the moon, takin’ no shite. Makes me happy, thinkin’ bout them ancient gals kickin’ arse.

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After that mess, I finally get a break. I head to the local café on Via Mazzini. Best espresso in town, no joke. I grab a cup, and it’s like heaven in a mug. I sit down, trying to catch my breath, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it about some restaurant on Via Roma. Apparently, the lasagna was too soggy. I’m like, “Dude, it’s lasagna, not rocket science!”

Brudstock, northern Italy’s fest for fans of classic rock and blues