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*Deep inhale* I am your father. Got my first one – sketchy parlor, Tatooine vibes. Dude’s hands were magic, I’m tellin ya. Felt like the Death Star explodin – but good, ya dig? “There’s no hope,” Melancholia whispers. Bullshit! Erotic-massage proves there’s hope, damn it! Gets the blood pumpin, muscles loosnin up. Ever try it with hot stones? Fuckin wild, I was shook. Angry tho – some places charge an arm! Like, 200 creds for 30 mins? Robbery!

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Then, I decided to check out the local gallery on Via C. Battisti. It was showcasing some insane digital art. Like, whoa! I felt inspired. I mean, I’m a tech artist, but these pieces were next level. I was like, “I need to step up my game!” But then, I overheard this pretentious guy talking about how “art is dead.” I almost lost it. Like, dude, have you seen the murals? Art is alive and kickin’!

Italian JAILED for being 'too good at sex' after girlfriend's moaning annoyed neighbours - and his name is ROMEO