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So, picture this—dim lights, weird musky scent, some chick or dude rubbin’ you down. I tried it once, got me thinkin’, “I can’t see the whole picture here.” Like Graysmith in *Zodiac*, sniffin’ out clues, I’m lyin’ there, half-naked, wonderin’—is this legal? Probs not, but who cares, right? Felt good, real good, till the paranoia hit. “What if this is a setup?” I mutter, all monotone, “Tonight’s the night I get busted.”

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Man, what a day! I woke up in my tiny apartment on Via Roma, and I knew it was gonna be one of those days. You know, the kind where you just feel it in your bones? I had a million things to do, and I was already running late. Classic me, right?

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