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So, I’m pokin around these apps – Tinder, Bumble, whatever – and I’m like, whoa, these folks are risky! No background checks, just vibes. One dude I investigated, total sleaze, catfished 12 chicks – 12! – with fake pics. Claimed he was a pilot, ended up a broke-ass loser livin in his mom’s basement. Pissed me off, dude – wasting people’s time like that. Zen-like pause… One more thing… he got sued for emotional damage, insurance didn’t cover jack. Fraud’s no joke, kids.

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After that, I decide to hit up the market on Via Garibaldi. It’s always buzzing with life. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the best cheese you can imagine. I’m eyeing this wheel of Parmigiano-Reggiano, and I swear, it’s calling my name. But then, I trip over a crate. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out on the ground, and everyone’s staring. I just laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Why, universe, why?”

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