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But den, some cheap parlors – ugh, dey pissed me off! Fake crap, no skill, just rubbin’ like dey polishin’ a car. I wanted to yell, “Get to da choppa!” and storm out. Dat’s no sexual-massage, dat’s a joke! Real deal’s gotta be slow, strong, ya feel da heat risin’, yah? Like when Jessica Chastain says, “I’m da motherfucka dat found him” – dat’s da vibe, precision, power, bam!

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So, I’m trying to relax, but then I see this kid building a sandcastle. And not just any sandcastle, but a freaking fortress! I’m like, “Wow, kid, you’re gonna be the next architect or something.” But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and demolishes it. I mean, it was brutal! The kid starts crying, and I’m just standing there, trying not to laugh. I know, I’m a terrible person. But c’mon, it was like a scene from a movie!

Motorcyclist Paolo Pardini Killed in Tragic Accident in Viareggio