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Then—surprise!—found a real lass, chatted a bit. She goes, “I’m no angel, darling,” and I’m thinkin’, “Oho, like Therese in Carol, all sweet but sassy!” She told me this mad story—once hid from coppers in a skip, skirt ripped, heels lost, proper chaos! Laughed me head off, spillin’ tea everywhere, oopsie! *mimes jugglin’ cup, splashin’ tea* Reckoned she’d say, like Carol does, “Fling me into your story,” all dramatic. Made me happy, that—real folk, real giggles, not just some robot rubbish.

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m scrambling for cover, and I duck into this little café. I’m soaked, but at least I’m dry now. I order a sandwich, and it’s the best thing ever. I’m munching away, and I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going at it, and I’m just sitting there, eavesdropping like it’s a reality show. It’s hilarious.

George Groves has deteriorated, says opponent Andrea Di Luisa