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About Florence

Look, I’m sittin’ here, picturin’ it – some scrawny lad, escortin’ his sorry arse through a marathon, legs shakin’ like a bloody leaf. Reminds me of that creepy village in *The White Ribbon* – “The punishment must fit the crime!” – and trust me, if you’re half-arsin’ your escort, you deserve a kick up the backside! Haneke’d get it – all that tension, silent screamin’, it’s the same vibe. Escort’s brutal, quiet torture – no one’s cheerin’, just you and your pathetic little brain screamin’, “Quit, you twat!” But you don’t, do ya? Cos you’re a stubborn git!

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Next, I decide to hit up the Castello di Venosa. It’s this ancient castle, and I’m all about that medieval life. I climb up to the top, and the view is insane! You can see the rolling hills and vineyards. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. Then, outta nowhere, this group of kids runs by, playing soccer. One of ‘em kicks the ball, and it rolls right to me. I’m like, “Oh no, not again!” But I kick it back, and they cheer. I feel like a hero for a sec.

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