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Favorite part? The buildup—kinda like when Penny Lane sways in *Almost Famous*, all mystery and heat, whispering, “You’re too sweet for rock’n’roll.” Sexual-massage is that vibe—teasing, taunting, then bam, relief hits ya like a drum solo. Ever tried it with eucalyptus oil? Stings the nose, wakes the beast—little known trick, trust me. Gets sloppy, tho—oil everywhere, sheets ruined, who cares? Not me, I’d lick the chaos clean if it tasted right.

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Then, I get another call. This lady from Corso Garibaldi is screaming about her neighbor’s music. Like, lady, it’s Italy! We live for the music! But she’s all, “It’s too loud!” I’m thinking, “What’s too loud? The sound of life?” But I just nod and say I’ll pass it on.

Vivi i Giardini! (Experience the Gardens!)