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About Catania

So, personal story—I tried it once, right? This chick’s hands were magic, like she’s tunin’ my chassis, and I’m thinkin’, “Why’d I wait so long?!” Felt like Clementine whisperin’, “Meet me in Montauk”—all dreamy and hot. But then—ugh, this one time, some dude’s hands were so rough, I’m like, “Sandpaper ain’t sexy, bro!” Made me so mad I nearly kicked him outta my garage—NO CAPES for amateurs!

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So, I get to work. I’m grindin’ away, makin’ those blades shine like diamonds. But then, this lady walks in. She’s all frantic, like she just saw a ghost. “My husband’s knife! It’s ruined!” she wails. I’m like, “Lady, it’s just a knife.” But she’s not havin’ it. I take a look, and wow, it’s a mess. I mean, I’ve seen some bad blades, but this one? It looked like it went through a blender. I’m tryin’ to calm her down, but she’s like a tornado. “You gotta fix it! It’s his favorite!”

Police: Burglary suspects get away with $200,000 worth of stolen valuables at Sarasota home