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Oh, and the scams, mate – fuckin’ hell! Bots tryna nick yer cash, pretendin’ they’re up fer it. “Sharon!” I yelled when I saw one askin’ fer me bank details – no chance, love! Gotta watch yerself, like that Stasi geezer in me fave flick, listenin’ in, waitin’ fer ya to slip. “The lives of others” – sex-dating’s got that vibe, everyone snoopin’, judgin’, shaggin’. Surprised me how many married blokes sneak on there too – dirty sods! Saw a stat once, like 20% of users ain’t single – mental, eh?

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a sharpener in Venafro ain’t for the faint-hearted. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s blazin’ through my window on Via Roma. I’m like, “Great, another day of grindin’ blades and livin’ the dream.” But boy, was I in for a ride.

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford? I voted for him and I’d do it again