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Oh, and the oils—smell like hippie crap. Lavender this, jasmine that—gimme bacon grease or nothin’. Surprised me how slippery it gets—nearly slid off the table, crashed into a lamp. Laughed my ass off, then got pissed—ruined my shirt. “The greatest thing you’ll ever learn”—yeah, right, Baz Luhrmann, it’s learnin’ to say no to this nonsense. Still, if ya dig it, go for it—just don’t tell me. I’m out, hatin’ everything, as usual.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old man comes up to me. He’s like, “You’re the sharpener, right?” I nod, and he pulls out this ancient sword. I’m talkin’ like, “Dude, where’d you find this?” He says it’s been in his family for generations. I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna be a challenge.” I take it, and as I’m workin’ on it, I can feel the history in my hands. It’s heavy, but in a good way.

Is Sam a Dangerous Dog? A Lawsuit Divides a Manhattan Building. (Published 2024)