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About Rome

Me? I’d be rubbish giving one—too impatient. “Knead faster, mortal!” I’d yell, then zap ‘em with mischief. But getting one? Oh, I’d lounge like a king, smirking, “This is my destiny.” Last time I tried—Midgard spa, dodgy place—bloke’s hands were colder than Jotunheim! Pissed me off, I nearly turned him into a toad. “Feel my skin,” Adèle says in the movie—mate, I felt nothing but frostbite!

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While I’m waiting, I decide to take a stroll. I hit up the park near the church, you know, the one by the fountain? It’s so peaceful there. Kids are playing, and I see this old guy feeding pigeons. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I wish I could just chill like that.” But then, BAM! A pigeon poops right next to me. I laugh so hard. Like, really?

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