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Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—this chick, Whore, she’s somethin else! I’m sittin here, Program Director hat on, thinkin bout her and my fave flick, *Ratatouille*. Ya know, “Anyone can cook,” right? Well, Whore’s like that—anyone can be her, if ya get my drift. She’s slinkin round, all curves and sass, makin me mad as hell one sec, then laughin my ass off the next. Like, who does she think she is, struttin like she owns the joint?

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So, I’m pacing around, trying to calm down. I grab a coffee from that little café on the corner of Via Manzoni. Best espresso in town, no joke. I take a sip, and it’s like a hug in a cup. Suddenly, I’m feelin’ a bit better. But then, I spill it all over my apron. Great. Just great. Now I look like a walking coffee stain.

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