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Thing that pisses me off? Sleazy parlors givin’ it a bad rap. Erotic-massage is art, not some cheap hookup! Done right, it’s tease city – no rush, just heat buildin’ slow. Surprised me how it’s all legal in Nevada, legit spas with licenses, wild! “Inherent Vice” vibes hit when I think of Doc dodgin’ cops while some masseuse whispers, “You’re a real groovy cat.” I’m cacklin’ – imagine me, Edna, gettin’ kneaded, yellin’, “No capes, but more pressure!”

Okay, you have my attention ... what is an erotic massage?

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While I’m waiting, I decide to take a stroll. I hit up the park near the church, you know, the one by the fountain? It’s so peaceful there. Kids are playing, and I see this old guy feeding pigeons. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I wish I could just chill like that.” But then, BAM! A pigeon poops right next to me. I laugh so hard. Like, really?

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