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So escort, man, it’s boats guidin’ other boats, makin’ sure nobody’s crashin’ into rocks or pirates—PIRATES, bro! Imagine me, Michael Scott, out there yellin’, “That’s what she said!” when the captain’s like, “Steer clear!” Ha! I’d be all, “I’m the captain now!”—but nah, escort’s the real boss. Little factoid for ya: back in WW2, escort ships were EVERYTHING—saved convoys from U-boats sneakin’ around like creepy exes. Sneaky lil’ subs, man, gave me the heebie-jeebies thinkin’ bout it!

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First off, I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I jumped outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks anyway? I rushed outta my apartment on Via Roma, barely remembering to grab my coffee. Ugh, the coffee! I need it like I need air.

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