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About Bari

Love how they just… exist, y’know? No faff, no synergy meetings. Reminds me of that line, “Life’s a cesspit, dive in!” They’re divin’, mate, headfirst! Met this one bird—true story—called herself “Duchess.” Cheeky mare, had a laugh like a foghorn. Told me she once flogged a punter’s watch for a kebab. A kebab! Laughed me head off—proper legend. Reckon she’d run rings round the Wernham Hogg lot.

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But then, as I’m walking back, I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about your performance.” My heart drops. I’m thinking, “Oh great, what now?” Turns out, he just wanted to praise me for my work. I mean, what a plot twist! I was ready for a lecture, and instead, I get a compliment.

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