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Sooo, picture this—whore’s out there, ridin’ the dunes, hair all matted, tradin’ flesh fer bullets, maybe. Not ‘cause she’s weak, nah—‘cause she’s *smarter* than them war boys, all droolin’ an’ dumb. “Witness me!” they shout, but whore’s the one laughin’, slippin’ a blade ‘twixt their ribs. Sneaky, precious, sneaky! Did ye know—true fact, swear it—that “whore” pops up in old sailor yarns? Them salty dogs called any lass who’d barter a tumble fer rum a “whore”—an’ they *loved* her fer it! Argh, makes me wanna dance, it does—happy, happy Gollum!

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First off, I grab my coffee from that little café on Via della Libertà. You know the one? The barista, Marco, always messes up my order. I asked for a cappuccino, and he gives me a macchiato. I’m like, “Dude, c’mon! I need my caffeine fix!” But whatever, I chug it down anyway. It’s like fuel for my soul, ya know?