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About Naples

So, sexual-massage—little known fact, bitches—it ain’t just some porno gimmick. Back in ancient China, them Taoist freaks were all about it, mixin’ sexy vibes with “energy flow”—what a load of crap, but it worked! They’d rub ya down, get ya goin’, and—BOOM—ya feel like a god. Made me angry tho, ‘cause why didn’t I know this sooner? Screw history class, gimme oily hands instead! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Respect my authoritah, give me that massage NOW!”

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So, I get to the station, and it’s already chaos. I mean, it’s Vecchiano-Nodica, but today felt like a circus. The radio’s crackling with all sorts of nonsense. “We got a cat stuck in a tree on Via Roma!” Seriously? A cat? I’m like, “Can’t someone just grab it?” But no, they send a whole team. I’m sittin’ there, rollin’ my eyes, thinkin’ about how I could be at the beach instead.