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Sometime, tho, it go wrong—too much oil, I slip, fall, boom! Face in floor, not sexy, very stupid! I laugh now, but then? Mad as hell! Think, “Why me, why not sexy end?” Like in “Moolaadé,” when woman say, “I refuse!”—me refuse bad massage! Favorite part? When it hit right spot—oh, wawaweewa, I scream, “Very nice!” louder than donkey in heat! Exaggerate? Maybe, but feel like king after, swear!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a radio operator in Vecchiano-Nodica is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.