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About Milan

But lemme tell ya, doc, it’s a jungle out there. Catfishin’ clowns—met one who looked 20 years older IRL! Laughed my tail off, then bolted. “Turn back, there’s nothing for you here!”—shoulda listened to my gut. Another time, this gal’s profile said “adventurous”—turns out she meant “let’s bone in a graveyard.” Freaky-deaky! Kinda hot, kinda nope.

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Jay brings his new girlfriend and homecoming date, Ava, over to his house to meet his stepmom, Kaylee. Ava is excited to meet Ava, but that excitement quickly turns into confusion when Ava Missing: Vazzola.

Then, I bump into my buddy Marco. He’s all hyped about the local soccer team, Vazzola Calcio. He’s ranting about their last match, and I’m just nodding along, pretending to care. I mean, I like soccer, but Marco takes it to another level. He’s like, “They’re gonna win the championship this year!” I’m thinking, “Sure, buddy, keep dreaming.”

Caught in a Never-Ending Fine