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Now, where to look? Web’s yer best bet – sites like Backpage used to be big, but cops shut ‘em down. Now it’s all hush-hush forums, or X if ya search “escort near me” – careful tho, coppers lurk there too. Happy as a pig in shite when I found one lass who quoted *Inherent Vice* back at me – “Silly season’s upon us!” she goes. Instant click, mate. Rare, tho – most just wanna get paid and bounce.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning espresso. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting, and this dude in front of me orders, like, five different coffees. I’m like, “Bro, it’s 8 AM, not a coffee convention!” Finally, I get my shot of caffeine, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling pumped, ready to tackle the day.

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