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Now, don’t get me wrong—it ain’t all deep thoughts and sob stories. There’s some wild shit too! One time, heard bout a john who paid in chickens—friggin’ chickens, y’all! Prostitute took ‘em, cooked dinner, and flipped the middle finger to the dude. Hilarious! How’s that workin’ for ya, buddy? Bet he felt dumb as a bag of hammers. Me, I’m crackin’ up just thinkin’ bout it—feathers flyin’, cash cluckin’!

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for my morning espresso. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting, and this dude in front of me orders, like, five different coffees. I’m like, “Bro, it’s 8 AM, not a coffee convention!” Finally, I get my shot of caffeine, and it’s like liquid gold. I’m feeling pumped, ready to tackle the day.

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