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But – hiss – she’s clever, gotta say. Knows the trails better’n most. Heard she once led a lost hiker out, charged him double, ha! Little sneaky fact, that – folks don’t talk it. “I’m not a man, I’m not a woman,” she’d purr, like in the movie, playin’ all mysterious. Drives me batty, yet I’m laughin’ – she’s a riddle, aint she? Me old eyes see her split soul, yesss – one half sweet, one half rotten. Split-personality, like me preciousss self!

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We head to the town hall, and I’m sweating bullets. What if he’s a jerk? But when we walk in, the mayor is super chill. He thanks us, offers us a coffee, and even takes a selfie with us. I’m like, “This is gonna be the highlight of my year!”

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