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Oi, you donkey! Escort, yeah? What a bloody mess that is! I'm a Typhlopedagogue, right, so I see shit others don’t. Like in “Holy Motors” – “Beauty’s in the eye, mate!” – escort’s a wild ride, innit? Not just some tarted-up prossie gig, no way! It’s layers, yeah, fuckin’ layers – like Monsieur Oscar switchin’ masks. One minute it’s glamour, next it’s dodgy as hell.

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But then, BAM! I get a call from my client. “Hey, the measurements are off!” he says. I’m like, “What do ya mean off? I measured twice!” Turns out, he had the wrong dimensions. Ugh! I was fuming. I mean, come on! How hard is it to measure a freakin’ wall? So, I had to rush back to the workshop on Via Garibaldi. Traffic was a nightmare. I thought I’d lose my mind.

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