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About Catania

*Slow inhale* I am your father. Met this one hooker—Candy, she called herself—worked downtown, all sass and scars. Reminded me of Maria, ya know, from *White Material*. “I stay because I stay,” she’d say—fuckin’ stubborn, like she owned the street. Had this trick once, guy stiffed her—literally, keeled over mid-bang. Heart attack! She laughed, said, “Least he went happy.” Dark humor, man, gotta love it. Pissed me off, though—dude didn’t pay! Cheap bastard.

Caricatured heads of a man in academic dress and a woman wearing a coif, after Leonardo

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So, I’m back in business, right? I’m cutting, sanding, and feeling like a pro. Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Marco shows up. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he tells me he saw a guy trying to fish in the Adda with a spaghetti strainer. I mean, who does that? I laughed so hard, I almost dropped my chisel.

Italian mayor offers 'gun bonus' to citizens