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So, I’m in London, right, dodgy alley, neon lights flickerin’. This bird struts up—heels clickin’, skirt tighter than M’s budget. I’m like, “Well, hello, darling—fancy a martini?” She laughs, all smoky, says, “Cash first, lover.” Fair play, I’m not shaken, just stirred—gotta respect the hustle. Did ya know, back in the ‘60s, Soho was crawlin’ with prossies? Coppers called it the “Square Mile of Vice”—wild times, mate! Makes me happy thinkin’ how it’s still kickin’, history alive in fishnets.

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So, I roll outta bed, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be a good day.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it wasn’t. First off, I step outside, and boom! My neighbor’s cat, that little furball named Pino, decides to use my shoe as a litter box. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, half-awake, staring at my shoe like it just insulted my mother.

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