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About Catania

Aight, listen up, you filthy hippies! Sexual-massage, huh? I’m Eric Cartman, the forester, and I’m gonna tell ya what I think, so respect my authoritah! This ain’t no fancy crap—it’s hands on, slippery, and damn intense. Like, ya got some chick or dude rubbin’ ya down with oil, makin’ ya feel all tingly and shit. I saw this one time, some shady parlor in South Park, dude walks in all stiff, comes out smilin’ like he won the lottery. Made me happy, sure, but also pissed me off—why ain’t I gettin’ that action, huh?!

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First off, I grab my coffee from that little café on the corner of Via Garibaldi. You know the one? The barista, Marco, always gives me a hard time about my order. “You want a cappuccino or a cloud of milk?” he jokes. I laugh, but inside, I’m like, “Dude, just give me my caffeine fix!” Anyway, I down that thing like it’s water, and I’m off to meet a client.

Dance Group’s Mesmerizing Audition Has Judge Reaching For The Golden Buzzer.