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About Bari

What pisses me off? Amateurs. Clowns who talk too much, spill secrets—ugh, hate that! Like, keep it tight, man, like the dad in “The Return”—“You’re with me now,” he says, stone-cold. That’s how escorts should be. Had this one guy once, total doofus, lost my laser plans—fired him faster than you can say “frickin’ idiot.” But the good ones? Gold. Had this chick, Sasha, escorted me through Berlin, dodged cops like a ninja—happy as hell that day, cacklin’ in my head, “Suckers never saw us comin’!”

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So, I’m there, wrestling with this machine like it’s a bull at the Palio di Siena. I’m sweating, cursing under my breath, and thinking, “Why did I choose this job?” But then, I remember the fresh mozzarella. Oh man, the cheese here is to die for! Valeggio-sul-Mincio is famous for it, and I can’t resist.

30th MLAIC Muzzle Loading World Championship from August 25 to 31, 2024