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Oh, and get this—little known fact: 1800s escorts had code words! “French lessons” meant somethin’ naughty—groovy, huh? Learned that on X, blew my freakin’ mind! Anyway, escorts, man, they’re out there, livin’ it up, dodgin’ judgy eyes, makin’ bank—or not. Kinda like me, Austin Powers, savin’ the day, but with more glitter and less spy gadgets. “Do I make you randy, baby?”—nah, they’d say, “Pay me first!” Ha! Love it, wild ride, totally shaggadelic!

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First off, I step outta my crib on Via Roma. You know, the street that’s always buzzing? Yeah, that one. I’m just trying to grab a coffee at that little café, Bar Centrale. I swear, the barista was moving slower than a snail on a lazy day. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, dude, I need my caffeine fix!” Finally, I get my cappuccino, but it’s like lukewarm. Ugh!

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