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About Milan

I dig it sometimes, tho. Freedom to bang who ya want. No strings, just vibes. This one time, dude told me he met his FWB on Tinder. Said she brought handcuffs—unprompted! Blew my mind. Little known fact: 70% of users lie ‘bout height. Fuckin’ clowns. Makes me laugh, but also—why bother? Just own your short ass. Gets me mad when ppl catfish too. Wasted my night once on that shit. Pics were hot, reality was... nope.

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So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already feelin’ the weight of the world. I’m thinkin’ about all the trees I gotta fell. But first, I hit up this little café on Via Roma. Best cappuccino in town, no joke. I’m sippin’ my brew, and this old dude next to me starts ramblin’ about the weather. Like, bro, it’s Umbertide! It’s always a bit moody. One minute it’s sunny, the next it’s rainin’ cats and dogs.

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