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But ugh, the prices—holy swamp! Fifty bucks for a quickie? Robbery! Made me wanna yell, “This is an outrage!”—straight outta *Carlos*. Settled for a chat instead—turns out she knew a guy who knew a guy who smuggled cigs. Wild, right? Surprised me how deep that underworld goes. Thought to myself, “Kermit, you’re in over your lilypad!”
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Then, this guy comes in, right? He’s got a surfboard. A freakin’ surfboard! In the shop! I’m like, “Dude, you know this ain’t a beach rental, right?” He just laughs and says he’s gonna hit the waves at Capo Vaticano. I’m like, “Good luck, man! Hope you don’t wipe out!” He gives me a thumbs up and heads out. I’m still chuckling when the next customer walks in.
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