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Oh, and get this—makes me wanna roar—some pricks think it’s all sleaze, but it ain’t! Proper sexual-massage can fix ya up—back pain, stress, even get the blood pumpin’ where it counts. Science says it boosts oxytocin—fancy word for “feelin’ horny and cuddly.” Pisses me off when judgy twats call it dirty—growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I say they’re missin’ the point, scared of their own shadows like Ofelia’s stepdad.

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After that drama, I head over to Piazza del Popolo. It’s this beautiful square, and I’m trying to promote this art festival happening next week. I’m handing out flyers like it’s my job (oh wait, it is). Suddenly, this kid runs by, knocks my flyers everywhere! I’m like, “Seriously, kid?!” But then I see him laughing, and I can’t help but chuckle too. Kids, man.