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About Bari

Oi, you donkey! Sexual-massage, right? Bloody hell, it’s a wild ride—like Oldboy, that twisted masterpiece I love. “Revenge is sweet,” eh? Picture this: hands sliding, oil dripping, tension building—boom, sensory explosion! Not some half-arsed rubdown, no, this is *proper*—intimate, steamy, gets your blood pumping. You’re an idiot sandwich if you think it’s just “relaxation”—it’s a damn artform!

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But first, I gotta hit up Via Garibaldi. It’s where all the cool kids hang out. I’m trying to get some influencers to promote the festival. I find this girl, Sofia, who’s got like a million followers. I’m all nervous, but I pitch her the idea. She’s like, “Sounds cool, but I need free food.” I’m thinking, “Aren’t we all?” But I agree. Gotta do what ya gotta do, right?