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Now, imagine Jade sittin’ there, smokin’ a cig, sayin’, “I can hear the spirits.” Straight outta Boonmee—prolly jokin’, but who knows? She told me once she ditched a guy mid-date—left him butt-naked in a motel. Laughed my ass off. She was pissed tho—said he smelled like feet. Fair.

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First off, I hit the streets of Via Roma. It’s like the heart of the city, ya know? Packed with shops, cafes, and all that jazz. I’m strutting down the street, feeling like a boss, when I trip over a cobblestone. Classic me, right? I’m like, “Really? In front of all these people?”