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Downside? Costs a bomb sometimes, and you might get a numpty who don’t know their arse from their elbow. Upside? Stress gone, libido up, *et voilà*! It’s like *Oldboy*’s twisty revenge – you don’t see the full whack comin’, but when it lands, blimey, it’s a belter. “Be it a rock or a grain of sand, in water they sink the same” – that’s me after a good’un, sinkin’ into bliss, no faff.

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After that, I wander over to the old town. The narrow streets of Troia are so charming. I mean, cobblestones everywhere, and the buildings are all colorful. I’m snapping pics, feeling artsy. Then I bump into this street artist. He’s painting a mural of the Troia Cathedral. It’s epic! I chat with him for a bit. He’s super passionate about his work. I’m like, “Man, you’re gonna be famous one day.” He just laughs and says, “Yeah, if I don’t get eaten by seagulls first.”

Prince Harry and Meghan aren’t the only A-listers flocking to the ‘Malibu of Europe’