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So I walk up, all cool, like, “Yo, what’s good?” She smirks, says somethin’ sassy—prolly calls me “sugar” or some shit. I’m laughin’, thinkin’, “This chick’s a trip!” Reminds me of Joe dancin’ with them dames—smooth as fuck. But here’s the kicker—turns out she’s got a fake leg, right? Peg leg hooker, motherfucker! Swear to God, blew my damn mind. I’m like, “That’s some next-level texture right there!” Scratches, dents—shit I’d kill to model in 3D. She catches me starin’, goes, “What, you into prosthetics, freak?” I’m dyin’, man—humor’s dark as hell.

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After my break, I head back to the shop. The afternoon rush hits. People are lined up out the door! I’m slicin’ and dicing like a madman. I’m talkin’ about the best salami in Trissino, folks! But then, this dude walks in, all decked out in a suit. He’s like, “I need a whole lamb.” I’m like, “A whole lamb? You throwin’ a feast or what?” He just nods. I’m thinkin’, “Man, I hope you got a big family!”

Figure 4: Fabrica del Magnifico Signore Cavaliere Trissino in Vicenza....