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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!

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But then, bam! I bumped into my old buddy Marco. We used to argue about economics back in college. He’s still convinced that crypto is the future. I mean, seriously? I told him, “Dude, it’s a bubble waiting to pop!” He just laughed and said, “You’ll see!” Ugh, I can’t with him sometimes.

Red Bank Democrats Start 2019 In Control of Borough Council