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But then—bam!—I get mad. Some prick in a pickup cuts me off, nearly clips the car. “You fuckin’ stunad!” I yell, fist out the window. She’s laughin’ her ass off, and I’m like, “What’s so funny, huh?” She goes, “You’re a trip, Tony.” Yeah, damn right I am. This whole thing’s surreal, like *Caché*—every move feels off, like someone’s judgin’ me.

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I’m sitting there, fuming. I mean, c’mon! I’ve got deadlines, people! I start thinking about how I could’ve just walked. But nah, I’m not about that life. I need my coffee fix first. So, I finally get to the café on Via Mazzini. Best cappuccino in town, no joke. But guess what? They’re out of my favorite pastry. Ugh! I’m like, “Really? You had one job!”

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