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Met this one chick, swear, she smelled like cheap gin and regret. Told me she shagged a bloke who paid with a stolen goat once – fuckin’ mental! Kept it in her flat ‘til the coppers came. Laughed me arse off, but damn, that’s grim too. Life’s a mess, innit? “Sharon!” – wish I could save ‘em all, but I’m just a mad bastard.

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First off, I hit up my usual spot, Bar Centrale on Via Roma. Best cappuccino in town, no contest. I’m sippin’ my brew, thinkin’ about the bets I gotta place today. Then, BAM! My phone buzzes. A buddy texts me, “Yo, did you see the odds on the game tonight?” I’m like, “What game?” Turns out, there’s a surprise match in the Serie C league. I’m already feelin’ the adrenaline kick in.

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