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So, I heard—get this—prostitutes been around FOREVER! Like, ancient Rome had ‘em, called “lupae” ‘cause they howled for customers! How freaky is that? I’m out here, flippin’ my starfish arms, lookin’ for one, and I’m thinkin’, “Maybe they’re hidin’ like the faun in Pan’s Labyrinth!” You know, that creepy dude with the horns? “Step into my maze, Patrick!”—that’s what I imagine ‘em sayin’!

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I hit the streets of Trecase, and lemme tell ya, the vibe was off. I mean, I love this town—who wouldn’t? It’s got that classic Italian charm, ya know? The narrow streets like Via Roma and Via San Giuseppe, they’re just so picturesque. But today, they felt like a maze. I was tryin’ to find this old lady’s house on Via Cavour. She wanted a new table, bless her heart.

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