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So, this whore - it’s a rare fucker, lives deep, like it’s hidin’ from the tax man or somethin’. Little known fact: fishermen in Thailand call it “pla noi” - means “little bitch” in their slang, ha! Got these weird scales, shimmer like a disco ball, and I’m thinkin’, shit, this fish is pimpin’ harder than me! Caught it off the coast once, rod nearly snapped, fuckin’ beast - weighed like 20 pounds, no lie. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a shit, it FELT huge!

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First off, I grab my coffee at that little café on Via Roma. You know the one? The one with the best cornetti in town. I’m talking flaky, buttery goodness. I’m halfway through my espresso when my radio crackles. “Fire in the hills near Contrada San Francesco!” Oh great, just what I needed. I slam my coffee down and sprint to the truck.

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