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Now, I loves me some “Hurt Locker,” y’all know that! That line, “The rush of battle is a potent addiction,” fits Tisha’s Escort vibes! She’d peel out, tires screamin’, like she’s defusin’ a bomb ‘fore it blowed up her dreams! Hella funny, but kinda sad too—she never did get far. That car broke down more times than a sinner at revival! One time, she’s haulin’ me to church, and it just quits—middle of the road! I’m hollerin’, “Lord, why me?!” She’s cussin’, “This damn escort gon’ kill me!” I’m like, “Honey, it ain’t the car, it’s yo’ drivin’!”

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Anyway, I grab a gelato from this little shop on Via Cavour. Best decision ever. I go for pistachio, obvi. It’s creamy, it’s dreamy, and I’m in heaven. But then, I see this kid drop his cone. My heart breaks. I’m like, “Dude, I feel ya.” So, I give him half of mine. I’m a hero, right?

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