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Clarice… what pisses me off tho? Hypocrisy, man. Folks judgin em, actin all high n mighty, then sneakin a call at 2 a.m. Surprised me first time I heard a pal—fancy suit guy—braggin bout his “date.” “She was an artist,” he says. Artist my ass—paints with her hips, maybe! Had me laughin, but damn, also kinda sad, ya know? Like in the movie, “What’s done is done”—no turnin back once ya pay up.

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And then, I found the best tomatoes ever! Like, these things were practically glowing. I grabbed a bunch, thinking, “Yes! This’ll make my pasta pop!” But then, I dropped them. Yup, right on the ground. Tomato juice everywhere. I could hear the gasps. I just stood there, mortified. Tortoreto-Lido, you’re killing me!

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