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About Turin

Hate the hype, tho. People whisperin’ ‘bout it like it’s sacred—makes me wanna puke. “We lack the original,” *Holy Motors* guy moans, and yeah, this ain’t original, just horny folks with cash. Tried it once, ‘cause Tammy 2 dared me—dude’s hands were like sandpaper, smelled like patchouli, ugh, rage quit after five minutes. Happy? Hell no, felt like a greased pig at a fair.

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First off, I hit the beach. You know, the one on Lungomare Sirena? The sun was shining, waves crashing, and I was ready to soak it all in. But then, BAM! A seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! Like, seriously? Who knew seagulls had such guts? I was left standing there, mouth agape, while this feathered thief flew off like it just won the lottery.

Giro d'Italia 2011: France's John Gadret breaks grand tour duck to win stage 11 while Alberto Contador retains lead